Memories of long-ago assault revived by #MeToo movement

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my husband and I hosted a St. Patrick’s Day party in our apartment for friends. There was a lot of drinking going on. I had to be at work early the next morning, so I went to bed while the party went on. I awoke a short while later to one of the men attempting to rape me. He stopped and attempted an apology by saying, “But you are just so pretty.”

My husband and I graduated from high school with this person, and he is/ was part of the same circle of friends. I have not told many people, but the few who do know have maintained a friendship with him, including my husband.

Because of the #MeToo campaign, all the emotions have come to a head for me now. I think about this assault daily. The worst thing for me is that even though he knows about it, my husband has chosen to remain friends with him for 35 years. How can I get past this? — CAN’T FORGET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CAN’T FORGET: I can only imagine how traumatic the assault was, and for that you have my sympathy. The friends you confided in may feel that because your attacker was drunk, what he did was somehow excusable. That your husband would be so forgiving is, frankly, shocking.

It may take the help of a licensed mental health professional to put this behind you, if that’s possible. I sincerely hope you will reach out to a therapist who treats post-traumatic stress as well as victims of sexual assault, and include your husband in some of the sessions.

Category: