Home Country: How to help the city folks find their way to the ranch

Iwas recently invited to join Bob Milford, manager of the prestigious Diamond W Ranch, on a drive-around tour of the place. It’s a huge, private ranch, with tiny ex-logging roads winding around through 13,000 acres of pine trees and rocks. A real paradise.

But I was horrified to see wooden street signs nailed to trees wherever two of these old logging trails came together.

“Oh no,” I said, out loud.

“What’s the matter?” Bob asked.

“I see you’re planning a subdivision here.”

Bob started laughing when I pointed at the signs. “Those are for the owners,” he explained. “They live Back East and visit here one weekend a year. When they get out here, they take the pickup and drive around and get lost.

“Once I got a call on the cell phone from the owner, who said he was lost and couldn’t find his way back to the house. So I asked him where he was and he said he was right there, sitting on a rock and close to a pine tree.”

He chuckled. “That narrowed it down to about 13,000 acres. Well, I managed to find him, and after that, I put these signs up. I tell them now, if they get lost, to drive until they come to Home Road and then head downhill. It solved the problem.”

( Slim Randles is a self-syndicated columnist. This column was brought to you by the Randles’ book “Home Country,” available from www.riograndebooks.com.)