Home Country: A dentist who provides a good feeling filling

Slim Randles
Friday, March 22, 2019
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Dropped in at O’Dontal Dental the other day. You know, regular tooth check, cleaning, whatever Perry says to do, I do. Quicker that way. But this particular dentist isn’t nearly as feared as others. He’s … entertaining.

Dr. Perry O’Dontal worked his way through tooth school by acting, and you might be able to take the dentist off the stage, but you can’t take the spirit of the Bard of Avon out of the dentist.

“Ahhh,” he said, coming into my cubicle and shaking my hand, “fang fixing time again, brave lads and lasses. Lay bare the pearly whites of legend and let’s have a look.”

I opened my mouth wide.

He poked around in there with that little poker stick of his.

“From the depths of hell, my lad,” he said, “it ‘pears there be a cavity, like as not the size of the caverns of the three-headed dog, Cerberus! Mayhaps we shall remove it’s evil from our presence.”

So here came the grinder. And that sound. “Eat away! Eat away the edges of evil! If thy cavity offends thee, fill it up!”

So he ground and filled and X-rayed and then bowed.

I thanked him and he replied, “I am but your humble servant, milord, awaiting your bidding with drill and pick, carving out a masterpiece of a smile to bring sunshine into all those around you.”

Yep. Entertaining. I almost want to go to a Shakespeare play. Almost.

( Slim Randles is a selfsyndicated columnist. This column is brought to you by www.riograndebooks.com, which sells Slim’s books.)