DEAR ABBY: Woman discovers truth about boyfriend’s dangerous nature

Monday, November 30, 2020

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a wonderful relationship and blissfully happy for two years. We live together. When “Scott” and I first got together, he told me he had a felony conviction and that a woman had falsely accused him of rape. I laughed it off because I didn’t want to see the truth, but it ate at me badly. Then I finally looked it up via a background check, and it’s really bad.

Two months after his exgirlfriend broke up with him, Scott broke into her house and raped her while she was passed out on prescription sleeping pills. She called the police the next day, and he got a plea bargain, went to jail for 100 days and paid her $20,000 in restitution, probation and the whole thing. Scott still insists it was all her fault and that he is the victim. What do you think? — SHATTERED IN THE WEST

DEAR SHATTERED: I am so glad you asked. What I think is that you should extricate yourself from a relationship with this disturbed felon as quickly AND CAREFULLY as you can. That Scott blames his victim for the rape he committed tells me he still has not accepted responsibility for his actions and that he is dangerous. Consider contacting the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (; 800-656-4673) for advice on how to safely end it.

DEAR ABBY: I babysit my 1-year-old grandson 40 hours a week while my son and daughter-in-law work nights. They were paying me $80 a week, then suddenly stopped. My son said they might not pay me all the time because they often forget to “debit over” at the store to get the money for me.

I watched the baby for seven hours on Sunday, too, while my son enjoyed a day off. When I asked him if he remembered to debit over, he replied, “Debit over for what?” I said, “For my services.” He said, “Services for what?” I said, “Babysitting,” and he replied that his wife should have paid me, but she didn’t. — FORGOTTEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FORGOTTEN: I’m sorry to say this, but your son is a deadbeat who should be ashamed of himself. He could pay you by check or an electronic transfer if he doesn’t have the cash on hand. If you need money, find a client who will honor the deal, which will let your son and his wife learn how expensive replacing you will be. (If you decide to let them rehire you, make sure you get the money upfront.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www. or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.



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