DEAR ABBY: Student seeks advice about sharing space with roommates

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

DEAR ABBY: I am about to start my new college experience, but I have a few concerns. I’m very picky, and I enjoy my alone time. I like to keep my space clean and tidy, and I’m afraid my roommate(s) will be slobs and I’ll end up cleaning up after them. I also need alone time so I can focus on myself to recoup after a long day. When I’m here at home I will usually do that in my bedroom. But if I have roommates, that will be difficult to do. I guess I’m asking how to find a happy medium so my roommates and I can be at peace at all times. — WANTS TO PREPARE

DEAR WANTS: Because you didn’t specify how many roommates you will be sharing your space with, I will assume there are more than one — which may place you in the minority. Be open and honest with them about your desire for neatness and tidiness. They may not be as particular as you are, but it will provide you the opportunity to live with different kinds of people. As to the peace and quiet you crave, if adapting to each other’s schedules isn’t possible, consider heading to the library to find the peace and quiet you need. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: I am retired, so I have free time on my hands. Recently, while doing a favor for a neighbor couple, I was standing on their porch when a board broke and one of my legs went through up to my thigh. They expressed concern at the time, and I told them I thought I was OK.

The next day, my knee and upper thigh were swollen and bruised. My leg is improving each day, and for that I’m thankful. This happened more than two weeks ago, and I have not gotten a phone call or anything else from these neighbors. Have people really gotten that insensitive, or am I making a big deal out of nothing? — OLD SCHOOL IN GEORGIA

DEAR OLD SCHOOL: No, you are not making a big deal out of nothing. And yes, some people have become that insensitive. The reason for your neighbors’ silence may be lack of empathy, or it could be fear of a lawsuit. Or they may have thought it was unnecessary to check further because you said you were OK.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 35 years. She’s the best. However, for the last few years I feel like she fits our relationship in between her texting and emails, and not the other way around. Should I feel hurt or just roll with the times? — NEGLECTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEGLECTED: Neither one. What you should do is tell your wife of 35 years that she is making you feel like No. 3 on her list of priorities. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on hot tub etiquette. If I were to invite a nudist lady to soak with me in a hot tub, would it be impolite for me to ask her to wear a mask? — RAY IN NEW YORK

DEAR RAY (OF SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY): Thank you for writing. If you are unaware of someone’s antibody status, do not invite ANY stranger to get naked with you unless you are wearing a full-body condom, regardless of how tempted you are.