DEAR ABBY: Mother thinks teen is missing out by dating over the phone

Friday, November 30, 2018

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl who has been in a long-distance relationship for two years. We’re still in high school and actively involved in sports and extracurricular activities. During the fall months I cheer, and in the winter months he plays basketball. Our schedules only really allow for texting and FaceTiming rather than going out. Although our time is spent communicating on the phone, I feel we have a strong connection, and I am devoted to him. However, my mom is concerned “because I’m not dating and taking advantage of opportunities that could come with dating someone closer.” She criticizes him nonstop and thinks he’s making excuses and avoiding a commitment. She’d like to see me going out and having fun with someone like most girls my age do. I don’t think he’s making excuses, and I don’t feel as though I’m missing out on any opportunities. This disagreement is causing an issue between my mom and me. I feel that he’s The One, but Mom is finding it challenging to accept this. I would love to hear your advice. — FAR, BUT CLOSE, IN MICHIGAN

DEAR F. BUT C.: You may feel that this young man is “The One,” but your mother has a point. Please listen to her. Rather than sit home every night because you are devoted only to him, you should socialize and develop non-romantic relationships. It wouldn’t be betraying him. Most young people go out in groups, and that’s what you should be doing. This may be what your mother is trying to convey rather than saying he isn’t The One. Also, you and this young man have years of education to complete before you’ll be in a position to formalize your relationship. While you are doing that, both of you will meet new people and be offered opportunities that may broaden your horizons. Think about it.

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