DEAR ABBY: Mother can’t stand her son’s anger issues and his choice of language

Friday, June 14, 2019

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been invited to go away with my son’s family, and I don’t want to do it. I have done it before, and it never goes well because of my son’s mouth. I think he may have an anger issue, but if I say anything to him about it, he gets angry. I can’t tolerate his language, and he says he can’t change.

I want to be with my grandchildren, but his mouth and his attitude make me timid and uncomfortable, and I end up wishing I were home. I told him I was sorry I couldn’t go and why. He says his family is happy, and I should just let it roll off, but I feel I have a right not to be subjected to a week of constant cursing. It feels abusive. Am I wrong? -- WISHING IT WERE DIFFERENT

DEAR WISHING: If the bad language is directed at another person, it IS abusive and disrespectful. If it is used as an adjective, it is “merely” grating and unpleasant. A vacation is supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy oneself. Because you feel your son’s language is so bad it would prevent you from doing that, you should not subject yourself to it.

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