DEAR ABBY: Marriage OK after affair, but wife can’t forgive herself

By: 
Abigail Van Buren
Advice Columnist

DEAR ABBY: About 12 years ago, I made a terrible mistake and had an affair. My husband loved me enough to forgive me, and our marriage has been fine ever since. 

The problem is, I can’t forgive myself. I hate myself! I could have lost everything, including our two kids. I think of all the time I wasted when I could have shared that time with them, and I beat myself up daily over this. 

I have been depressed for so long. How do I get over this? I’m on meds, but it’s deeper than that. I feel I have a seat waiting in hell because of it. So — no chance for heaven — what’s the point in trying to be happy? 

I can’t afford counseling, and I don’t have a priest to talk to. Is there some kind of counseling group online I could join? — MISERABLE IN COLORADO

 

DEAR MISERABLE: It appears that, not satisfied with waiting for hell in the hereafter, you have managed to create one for yourself right here on Earth. As far as I know, there’s no “Jezebels Anonymous” support group.

It would be appropriate to find a priest who could give you absolution. However, because there isn’t one and it appears you’re having a crisis of the soul, confide in a member of the clergy of another faith, if there’s one nearby. Trust me, it won’t be the first time he or she has heard a story like yours, and it may bring you comfort.

 

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