DEAR ABBY: Jealousy could drive a wedge between couple

Friday, April 16, 2021

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years. We live together along with my two older sons, ages 30 and 33. He doesn’t spend much time with me because he’s either working or hanging out with the guys at the bar. I do have jealousy issues. He looks at and talks to other women when I am with him.

My former husband used to be out every day until late in the evenings until I caught him cheating with my best friend. It’s hard for me to trust again. I truly love my boyfriend, and I don’t want to lose him. Should I be jealous or let it go? — UNDERVALUED IN INDIANA

DEAR UNDERVALUED: Your insecurity is something you need to work on because your jealousy could drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend. If his looking at and conversing with women were a threat to your relationship, it’s likely something would already have happened.

Did your former husband look at women and engage them in conversation? I have a hunch he didn’t do it openly. That your best friend helped him cheat was another betrayal, for which you have my sympathy. But please don’t project their sins onto your boyfriend. Talk to him. Tell him you need more time together. Make plans for a regular date night and arrange for your sons to be absent. If you still don’t have enough of his company and he likes hanging out with his guy friends at the bar, consider tagging along occasionally.