DEAR ABBY: Couple seem to click better when they are apart

Abigail Van Buren
Advice Columnist

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. When I’m with him, I often find him annoying and think we have nothing in common. But when we are apart, I miss him a lot — especially when one of us travels for work. 

When we’re apart and talk on the phone, we have amazing conversations and discuss a future together. But when we’re together, we don’t talk as much, and he never mentions a future together. 

I’m confused. Is this normal for relationships? I don’t want to stay in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere, and it has been like this since pretty early on. How can I know if I should invest more of my time or if I should end it and move on? — PERPLEXED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR PERPLEXED: If neither of you is particularly talkative and there are a lot of distractions when you are together, then it’s normal. When you are apart, it’s possible that you miss — and idealize — each other, which is why those conversations about a future happen. The way to determine whether you should invest more time in this relationship would be to ASK him, and just as plainly as you addressed that question to me.