DEAR ABBY: Boyfriend takes charge after couple moves into his house

Friday, April 9, 2021

DEAR ABBY: I have been with the same man for almost 30 years. We are not married and have no children together. He is 15 years older than I am.

We have been living in his house for the past seven years. I feel more like a renter than a partner in this relationship. I give him money every month, and we sleep in separate rooms. He wants to control everything in his house, including how to clean, cook or what we eat. I bite my lip to avoid starting a confrontation.

He is a lifelong bachelor, while I have two adult children and a couple of grandkids. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I work all day; he doesn’t. I want to leave, but at the same time, I care and worry about him. What should I do? — DISILLUSIONED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Quit biting your lip. Gather your courage and start an honest conversation with your housemate in which you tell him you have been unhappy with the status quo for a long time. Then outline the changes that would make you happy. If he isn’t willing to compromise, then pack your bags and leave because you will know the feelings you have for him are not mutual.

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